Everyone always talks about how their forties are absolutely amazing, about how they found themselves, about how they've never felt more in tune with themselves, with life, with everything. Not me. My forties have absolutely sucked. Harsh words, but really truly that's how I feel about my forties.

To put it in perspective, some background...

Yes, I am an introvert. But I didn't always know and accept it. I spent my twenties in the late 90s, early aughts. A time where people wanted to stand out, reality shows were starting to become a thing, it was all about attention. I desperately tried to "fit in", to be like everyone else. Truth is, I never felt like I fit in. I always felt highly uncomfortable, ridiculously awkward, and as if I was consistently trying too hard. I was doing everything that everyone was "supposed" to do, but I didn't feel right, I didn't feel "me".

My thirties however, especially the latter part, were absolutely fantastic! I started getting into "self-help" trying to figure out what was wrong with me and how to change myself to be more like everyone else I was seeing out there. That led me into spirituality, yoga, and Buddhism where I first started to truly look at myself, to find myself, and to accept myself.

It was during that time that I discovered that there wasn't anything at all wrong with me. I was just an introvert. As I started to learn more about introverts, I finally felt like I was fitting in somewhere. I learned what made me tick, what triggered me, why I felt so drained after certain things, and what to do to recharge myself if I let me self go for too long.

I was doing so well and was so excited about my path that I couldn't wait to turn forty. A beautiful milestone and I was going to walk into it feeling so much better about myself and who I was than I ever had. And then my fortieth birthday approached...

I should have known that my forties weren't going to be so great when I didn't get to have the 40th birthday party I had been dreaming of. I had the most amazing plan for celebrating my big four-oh and right as I was about to book everything, I was invited to be a maid-of-honor in a family wedding and it was only days before my 40th birthday. All the extra time and expenses meant I had to choose to have my birthday party or choose to be a part of a family member's wedding. And I chose family over myself and have really been disappointed with myself ever since for not "making it work" and doing both.

From there my forties have been bad experiences after bad experiences. Beloved cat of ten years passing away seemed to start it. Then my father-in-law passes away suddenly. My mother-in-law gets a rare case of dementia less than 6 months later and I was her primary caregiver for a bit until we just couldn't do it anymore and found a memory-care facility for her. Then the pandemic with two anxiety-ridden teens followed by severe health issues with both of them. Getting fired for the very first time. My own mother having severe dementia issues. I was once again struggling to find my place in the world. Not really going anywhere, trying desperately to "keep it together". I was lost and it was showing up on me physically and mentally.

So, here I am, at the tail end of this decade of life feeling like I've lost so much and am going nowhere.

But... there is a silver lining to this story... and that's that my 50's are going to be everything my 40's weren't and more. The only good thing that happened to me in my forties happened just shy of a year ago. As 2024 was starting to wrap up, I really starting looking at my life, about my dreams, about what I wanted in life, and why I wasn't feeling like I had accomplished anything yet. And that's when I came up with the concept of "Je Suis Jeanette"- a home for introverts. A place where we can honor ourselves, heal ourselves, yet still be ourselves. And it was in creating this "home" that I truly started to come back to life.

I hadn't realized how far I'd gone without truly taking a look at myself. As I was building out this concept, a brand book, a website, and our first resource- a burnout digital workbook, I actually started healing myself. I really got in-tune with myself, what made me tick, and unlike my 30s, this time I was actually executing it. I was being myself unapologetically. And you know what... things have started to get good, like really good. I feel that I'm mentally in the best condition I've ever been in my life. While I don't consider my physical health where I want it to be, I can say that I physically haven't felt this good in well over a decade. And I finally feel like I have a purpose that aligns with who I am, excites me every day, and encourages me to not only help myself, but helps others as well.

All this to say... if you're going to through a rough time (or a rough decade like I did), it doesn't have to be that way. Turn inward. Look deep into your soul, into who you are at the core. And BE yourself, your wonderful, amazing, introvert self. And I know we can't do it alone, I sure didn't, but that's what Je Suis Jeanette is here for.